Hey you! It’s been a long time I talked to you and right now, I really want to share this with you.
It’s funny how life happens and we seem to never be in control of time and how it passes by. Have you ever wished you could have it your own way? I am pretty sure I’m not alone on this table.
So I really had something going almost my own way for the first time in a very long time but guess what? The bell rang “TIME UP” and I was caught so unawares. I thought to myself, why now? This can actually go longer but why does it have to end? I was getting really used to that feeling and holding on to it, because I am not one to easily let go. I struggled, trying to hold it firm and then I found out that It wanted to stay but the next phase came starring which it only meant it’s exit. At least it was kind enough to do me the good when I couldn’t.’
I know my description sounds like it was a human being or a relationship right? Well maybe it was a human being but it wasn’t a relationship. And this struggle wasn’t because I wanted the person to stay but because I wanted to continue to hold on to the phase we both were in, that I didn’t look up to see what’s next for us both. The more I tried, the more selfish I looked and then I had to finally allow the phase to go.
You would have thought I let go right? Yes I allowed the phase to pan out but No, my heart didn’t come to terms and I began to hurt. I was hurting and my vision got blurred, couldn’t see and I became stuck.
Some of us hold on to that particular moment or phase of our lives most likely because it’s been the best so far and we are not sure if the next will fall short. We just want to bask in the euphoria and be safe, as against getting out on the street and waiting for what we don’t have a clue about.
But hey my friend, THAT IS LIFE! We have to either live it, make the best of what we are given or keep sulking on what we are not given or what needs to go. Having learnt this the hard way, I really want to learn to let go of things that I cannot hold on to.
It comes in two ways: You hold on to that thing that should go and you don’t even look up to see that which is at your door step, waiting for the door to open; or you ‘LET GO’ and ‘LET IN’. This means you let go of the past and let in the future because when the time is up, it becomes the past.
I’m glad you read this through to the end. I only ask for one favour, please take 5 minutes to look within you to find out if you are not holding on to something of the past. If you are, I hope you let go and if you are not, I hope you never have to.
I will feel privileged if you can share your thoughts and if possible, your experience either present or past. I look forward to hearing from you.
It’s a cool morning, with a cold and quiet atmosphere, the trees in Mr. Akintunde’s compound are calm, dancing from left to right in the rhythm of the wind that’s blowing. Mr. Akintunde sits on the couch in his room, shaking his legs and taking deep breaths at intervals. Mrs. Akintunde lies still on the bed, turns her back at her husband as she weeps uncontrollably. The Akintundes’ have been in and out of the police station for the past two months looking for their only daughter, Yimika. It’s the 21st of April, Yimika’s birthday and two months after she went missing, but she’s still nowhere to be found.
Yimika Akintunde is the 16-year-old first child and only daughter of the family. She has a 14-year-old younger brother named Yomide. Yimika had just rounded up secondary school, a few months before she got missing. Yimika has a pretty weird personality that even her parents don’t understand. She is a girl in her world. Few times, you catch her happy and all sanguine, more often than not, you find her withdrawn and inexpressive. She was a girl who was filled to the brim with so many inexpressive emotions. Yimika was very likable, obedient, cool, calm, collected, and very much attractive.
Despite being the first child, she is someone people can refer to as a ‘Yes Ma” person to her family and people she wants to serve, meaning she does whatever she’s been asked to do regardless of its effect on her or her feelings. Her parents didn’t take much time or effort to pay attention to who she is and why she is withdrawn. To them, She was just a ‘shy’ girl with her own personality.
Shortly after Yimika’s final exams in secondary school, she began to change and became more outgoing, impulsive, and unusually chatty and friendly. She began to demand independence from her parents, which they couldn’t give. She made social media friends and would always be on her phone checking them out and daydreaming. Yimika suddenly wanted to change her wardrobe, go to church dressed up in a way that was against her parent’s religious beliefs. What all these meant to her parents was rebellion and waywardness which they think stemmed from bad friends and too much access to social media.
On the 19th of February 2019, Yimika went for a concert in a church that has a different religious belief from her parents’ church. On top of this offense, she came way past the normal house curfew. As she walked in, her dad stopped her with a raging tone; “Hey you, stop there! Where do you think you’re going to? Whose house are you coming in to at this time, dressed like that?” Yimika tried to talk but she stuttered in fear because she has rarely seen her dad this furious. She looked up and saw her dad with a three mouthed whip, her mum standing three feet beside him, furiously tying her wrapper around her waist and hissing. She also spotted her younger brother at the door to the passage, starring and shaking in fear. With tears crawling down her eyes, she knew hell would let loose. Her dad told her to her knees, whipped her with the instrument he was holding till her mum begged and Yomide screamed for mercy. Immediately after beating the ‘demon possessing’ her out, he ordered for the phone he gifted her on her graduation ceremony and put her on house and room arrest for two weeks.
It was barely two days after the incident and the ticking clock for her house arrest, Yimika was always in her room to be called out for breakfast and dinner (lunch taking was prohibited as part of the punishment). It was time for breakfast and her mum called as usual but there was no response. Impatiently, she barged into her room and surprisingly didn’t find her there. She quickly concluded that Yimika would be in the bathroom, so she went to the bathroom door and called her name but no response. She opened the door and the bathroom was empty. Her heart skipped for a second and she began to panic, “where has this girl gone to. Her daddy will deal with her if he finds out”. As Mrs. Akintunde went around looking for her, she got to the backyard of the house and found Yomide picking some random stones beside the fence. She called out to him asking for his sister but he spread his hands out, signaling ignorance.
It was nightfall already, Yimika’s dad had come home and met his wife pacing around the living room. Immediately she saw her husband, she snapped, “ Yimika ti lo, she’s gone. Some of her clothes are missing, She’s gone”. She grabbed her husband’s shirt and began to cry profusely, while her husband held her tightly and muttered “ we will find her”.
Hello guys! Your responses and thoughts on my first post about how I moved from Ondo State to Lagos State was really encouraging, and they make me want to tell you what happened next already.
After I landed in Lagos, you must have thought that I met a perfectly laid bed of roses right? Perhaps I jumped on a job immediately and continued a sweet life. Oh dear, I thought so too. Now here’s the gist.
On getting to Lagos, I felt a lot relieved in my heart but little did I know that it was just step one of the uncountable steps to be completed. A week after my arrival was the 23rd of June 2019, which was my 23rd year birthday, so I had made lots of plans and a full list for the year. In my list were things like: start a career, go out a lot, get exposure, have fun, make money, learn to swim, go to the beach and some more ideas singing in my head. But on the reality side of the dice, I was home doing nothing absolutely; sleeping, eating and watching TV. This routine, for me, is the most tiring and depressing routine I could ever have. Then it dawned on me that I needed to go look for opportunities.
Networking, meeting people and staying in contact with them, I believe is a good asset to an individual as they could come in handy at any time. While thinking about what to do next, I remembered someone I had met almost two years back who told me about his media agency in Lagos and how he wanted to grow the business. Well, I called him and I got an internship job right away. Quick right? I was happy that I could wake up with a purpose and be actually tired from hard-work, not idleness.
As quick as the progress seemed, trust me guys, it wasn’t what you are thinking right now. I learnt a valid lesson from this move I made and I’ll love to share it with you. My personality avails me to be very (almost too much) committed to whatever I find doing. I’m melancholic and I have a trait which therapists would call “dependable truck”, which means I’m quite reliable and can be trusted to carry out tasks well ( in the context we are discussing right now). I started this internship job at a media startup (name withheld) and my job description was to be the social media manager/content creator. The first meeting went well and oh my! the man had a very delicious mouth if you know what I mean.
Before I go further, did I tell you that my mum asked my brother to go with me in an UBER for the first meeting? Parents and their ways of showing love can be sweet and funny sometimes you know. Well back to our gist, I started this job with all the enthusiasm I could gather, but for each excitement I carried to work, I was met with a big bowl of cold water washing it down. I found out that things were not as I was told it was. A lot of things were struggling with the startup and I had been sweet talked into believing other wise. No shades here guys but for start up owners, is this how things work?
I managed to keep going and kept my hopes up that things would get better but I was wrong. Yet I couldn’t stop going because I wasn’t ready to stay home jobless. I was going from Ketu to Ojuelegba for those who know Lagos, I was spending money on transport fare but I would get there and sit outside waiting for the door to be open two hours past opening hour.
To crown this sad story on the head, after about a month, I was ready to stop because I was ready to register for NYSC (National Youth Service Corps). I went to my employer and informed him, only to hear the breaking news. He would not be able to pay me 20,000 naira as agreed. Hmm right? Well he promised to pay 10,000 but guess what? I got an alert of 5,000. Well if you want to ask me what I did, don’t stress, I’ll tell you. I SIMPLY LOOKED AWAY. Yes, I just ignored him, picked up my lessons and left. I told myself that this will never repeat itself. To think I couldn’t tell my folks at home because I didn’t want to give them worries or stop going was more painful. Imagine when your folks think you have money but you know deep down that it’s audio money; funny right?
So guys, I would like to know your thoughts on this experience I had. First, do you think it’s good to look for opportunities or wait on them? Do you think internship jobs are great? What would you have done about the situation, if you were in my shoes? Let’s hear you!
Hey! So this blog has been existing for over two months now and I’ve had some reservations about how to put my thoughts in here. But guess what? I thought of the blog-name again and it made me realize that all I need to do is come in here and express myself while you do the same too. So let’s get rolling on why I am here today.
Adulthood, especially from early twenties is really a roller-coaster. If you meet someone who is in this age group with a sound and stable mind, you should hold the person down and ask tons of questions. With the age comes big decisions to be made, paradigm shifts to take place, rejections, acceptances, frustrations, joy, and life basically dawning on most likely unprepared set of people.
My journey as an individual from cradle has been quite an adventure (a story for another day) but my journey through age 23 came with some mind defining moments that I really want to share with you. I had some mind battles that I knew I had to win for a smooth ride. I must tell you that at some point in life, knowing what you need and not just what you want is key. But oh boy! finding the line that separates what you need from what you want is some terrific brainstorm.
So starting from the point when I knew strongly that I needed a change of environment, here is the gist…
I have always been a girl who after figuring out what’s best for her, runs with it; I don’t let anything or anyone stop me except I’m convinced. I had a picture of what I wanted from life, what I want to do and I knew that I certainly had to leave the environment that I was at the time, to go seek after experience and exposure. I studied mass communication in the university and I chose that course because I knew right from secondary school that writing and talking (speaking) were my gifts. From my third year, I was pretty sure I wanted to do PR and content writing generally, so I had been nursing the thought of leaving Ondo State. Guess where I wanted to port to? Lagos State of course, because that’s a place where PR thrives a lot.
I began to feel uneasy, choked and then I started to make moves just so this worked out. My parents were worried about my well-being in Lagos, because of the stories we all hear about this city. In Lagos, you have to be up and doing, extra careful, firm and the likes. Their worries were legit because I was more like a fresher in Lagos; I have cousins in Lagos I could stay with so accommodation wasn’t an issue. I tried to let my parents see that I just needed a change of environment and staying at home was boring (I tried to tell them what they wanted to hear, I believed that my actions on getting to Lagos would speak for me). There was a lot of back and forth in the process but my mind was made up and I began to look for the next car available to hop in to, because I knew that waiting for my parents to decide on a public transport for me would put me on a long thing; I tried to use my actions to water down their reluctance. Guess who got a free, only passenger trip to Lagos in a new model Sienna bus?
I’m pretty sure you want to know what happened next right? I sure have plans on telling you, but first, I would like to know your opinions on this first move I had to make. Drop your comments and thoughts about the ‘change of environment’ idea. Do you think your environment matters in different phases of your life? Do you always know what you need? Do you think you can thrive or achieve what you want, irrespective of your environment? I’d love you to share your thoughts, as we continue this journey.
Thumbs up to a beautiful ride with you.